


Vous Êtes Le Soleil De Ma Vie

by icegirl99



Series: Look At Me [2]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Love, Men Crying, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:00:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22256827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icegirl99/pseuds/icegirl99
Summary: Cardi decides that he needs to tell Papa how he feels, but does Papa feel the same? Will Papa's duty to the clergy keep them apart?
Relationships: Cardinal Copia/Papa Emeritus III
Series: Look At Me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602166
Comments: 13
Kudos: 26





	Vous Êtes Le Soleil De Ma Vie

**Author's Note:**

> There's some French is this. The translations are in brackets after they are said. The title of this work is You Are The Light Of My Life.
> 
> I don't pretend to be very good at French grammar as I am not a native speaker of it but I can get by with it well enough. If there are any native speakers here who see major issues with my grammar, feel free to tell me and I will fix it.

After the ritual I found a sister to take back to my bed. I made small talk with her and she was sweet enough to spend the time chatting with me until I was ready to take her to bed. We made love quietly, neither of us speaking and I wondered if she could tell that I wasn't thinking of her. If she did, she did not mention it. 

Afterward, I offered to let her take a shower, she accepted and left my room shortly after, thanking me for letting her into my bed. I smiled at her and said that I would welcome her back anytime, all she need do is ask.

It was a long while before I fell asleep. I could smell the sister on my sheets and while the scent of a woman wasn't foreign to me, it wasn't the scent I longed for. 

I thought about how well he delivered the dark mass, even though he had been completely unprepared for it. The air of ego and arrogance that Papa emitted while addressing his congregation had both infuriated and aroused me. It was something that I often struggled with while working with the man. But lately, I found myself falling more and more into his charms. 

That night I dreamt of him. I dreamt of his naked and warm body pressed up against mine. His fingers wrapped around my hard cock as he kissed me passionately and I begged him to take me. He did just that, making me moan and cry out that I never wanted him to stop. 

I awoke sweating and hard, my leaking erection aching as it touched the soft cotton of my bedsheets. Tears ran down my face as I felt the raw emotional pain of realizing that this had all been a dream. I was stuck between always wanting to be with him and never having it happen. 

The pale blue of the early morning dawn started to peak through my half-closed curtains. As I sat up and began to prepare for my day, I came to a decision that I couldn't wait any longer. 

Once I was dressed in my red robes, I sat down at my desk and quietly scribbled a note that said, 'I cannot do this any longer. I wish to speak with you.'

I exited my room and took the note up to Papa's living quarters. Slipping it under the door, I hurried down to the kitchens to grab breakfast before heading to my office to get a head start on the day’s paperwork. 

~*~

It was when I returned from lunch that I found my note from this morning sitting on my desk. It had been folded and left directly on top of my pile of completed work. Staring at it made me wish I had never given in to my desperation to know whether or not he felt the same. What if he had laughed when he read it? What if he wrote 'no' in response or what if he had written nothing at all? My anxiety almost kept me from picking it up and unfolding it. 

'I know what you are referring to Cardinal. Join me in my chambers at midnight if you still wish to speak with me.' 

The rest of the afternoon and evening was spent trying to make busy work for myself. I did have things that needed to get done but I wasn't able to keep my eyes off the clock. 

I ate a late dinner in my office before returning to my room. I took a quick shower and dressed in my black suit before taking a seat in my living room to wait until midnight. 

My thoughts began to wander as I thought about what I would say to him. For weeks I had been wanting to tell him how much I wanted to touch every inch of his body, to worship his flesh with my tongue, to hear his voice call out my name...I wanted all of it. I wanted all of him. But the thing I longed for the most from my Pope was his heart. I needed him to love me as I loved him.

The sound of bells alerted me to the hour. I raised my head and looked at my clock. Midnight had finally come, and it was time for me to make my way up to Papa's chambers. 

I took a few moments to calm myself before leaving my chambers. The walk up to his room seemed to take longer than it should have, even if it was merely minutes. 

I tentatively lifted my hand and knocked softly on the heavy oak door. After my second knock, I heard footsteps approaching on the other side. The lock unlatched and Papa swung the door open. 

"I'm glad you came, Cardinal," Papa smiled at me as he stepped aside to let me into his living room. It was the first time I had seen such warmth in his face. "I was hoping that your anxiety wouldn't get the best of you." 

"I am nervous, Papa." There was no sense in lying to him about this. I had already come here, there was no point in backing out now. Besides if I did I'm not sure I could live with the regret or the feeling of not knowing. The very thought of leaving here tonight without accomplishing what I intended to, kept my anxiety from making me want to flee.

"Please don't be," he whispered as the door shut behind me. 

I stood there, frozen in place, as I suddenly felt extremely overdressed. Papa was no longer in his day clothes and was wearing a pair of dark purple satin pajama pants. His chest was bare. I bit my lip trying to keep my gaze off of his perfectly sculpted shoulders, his soft and flat stomach. 

"Come, join me in my bedroom, Copia," Papa said with a hint of amusement. I nervously raised my head and stared at him. I did not expect him to invite me to his bed so quickly. It almost felt wrong after the way he had treated me the day before in regards to the dark mass. 

The part inside of me that brought me here also compelled me to follow him into the spacious bedroom. But left me hovering just inside the doorway.

Papa sat down on his bed, near the middle and leaned back against the headboard. "Sit with me, Cardinal," he tried again looking at me with a soft gaze. 

This was an entirely different side of my Pope and it utterly confused me, but also made me curious and slightly more nervous. I was worried that this was just an act and that Papa would go right back to his usual arrogance and surliness. My heart couldn't handle it if he only entertained the idea of letting me into his bed to ridicule me. 

I clasped my hands together nervously a few times before letting out a small sigh and giving in. I walked over the bed, kicking my shoes off before crawling into it, and sitting down beside him. I swallowed and laced my fingers together in my lap. I said nothing, listening to the sound of my own heart beating wildly in the silence surrounding us. I wondered if he was close enough to hear it. 

"Everything okay, Cardinal?" Papa broke the long silence with a whisper. 

"I'm okay," I replied quietly. 

"I know why you asked to come here tonight," Papa said as he turned his body slightly towards mine. "I've been waiting for you to tell me that I'm correct in my assumptions." Papa uncrossed his legs and draped one over mine, hooking his foot around my calf. 

"And what assumption is that?" I muttered, looking down at our legs, he pressed his heel into my muscle and placed a hand on my thigh. My breath hitched as I felt the warmth spreading through my body. 

Papa didn't answer me, instead he leaned closer until his face was inches away from mine. His beautiful mismatched eyes gazed into mine with an intensity that had me feeling like I was going to drown in them. I found myself becoming lost to that gaze. One that I never wanted to look away from again. 

I was pulled from that pool of white and pale green bliss when Papa pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was short, sweet, and, oh so innocent. It left me feeling warm and tingly but also longing for more. 

"Is that what you wanted?" Papa asked quietly, removing his hand from my thigh and bringing it up to rub his thumb back and forth along my bottom lip.

I shook my head lightly and watched as uncertainty and slight remorse began to fill those eyes that I had been so lost in just moments ago. I reached up and took Papa's face into my hands before pressing my lips hard against his. 

I didn't deepen it and neither did he, but I poured every emotion I had into that kiss. All my love, desire, frustrations, and anxieties...I made sure that my Pope felt everything I needed him to at that moment. I felt it too and my lips began to tremble as I held back the tears that threatened to fall as I made my decision to give my everything to him. 

When I pulled back I looked up at him with dark, pleading eyes. "Is this what you want?" Papa asked quietly. 

"Yes," I whispered, voice wavering as I blinked away the tears. My hands found the hem of the sheets and pulled them back. Silently I slid under them, still fully clothed. Papa did the same and soon I was laid on my side with him behind me; his arm draped across my waist and his lips pressing little soothing kisses to my neck.

I felt his hand move to begin unbuttoning my jacket and then my shirt. I lay there trying to keep my breathing even as I felt his fingertips brushing against the bare skin of my chest. I sighed quietly as he pushed the fabric off my shoulders and I shrugged it off, dropping it to the floor. 

"Vous êtes parfait (you are perfect), Andrea…" Papa whispered as he kissed my shoulder. His hands were on my chest, softly caressing my skin. "Je t'adore (I adore you)." 

I didn't know why he was whispering words of praise to me in the language of romance but it made my heart race and my body shuddered as his lips sucked at my skin. I'm not sure if he knew I understood him fully so I whispered back. "Do you love me, Alessandro?" 

Papa hummed as I felt his hand work its way into the front of my pants. "Yes, my darling," he replied, voice soft and gentle. "I was slightly afraid of making the first move in case I read your signals wrong." His hand wrapped around my cock and I moaned quietly. "Je veux être avec toi (I want to be with you), Andrea. Do you want to be with me too?" I realized that the French was his way of coping with his own shyness. I smiled slightly. It was both quite endearing and very arousing. 

"Yes, Papa," I breathed as he stroked me slowly. "I've wanted this for a long time. Je t’aime de tout mon coeur (I love you with all my heart). Fais-moi l’amour (make love to me), Alessandro." 

Papa smiled, "ah darling, but of course. Is that not why you came here on this beautiful night?" 

"I wasn't sure if you felt the same," I sighed as he rubbed his thumb over the head of my cock. "I came here to tell you that I loved you. I didn't expect anything in return." 

"Moi aussi, je t'aime (I love you too)," Papa replied, pushing himself up so that he could kiss me deeply. When he pulled away he climbed off of the bed and opened his balcony door slightly. The warm breeze of the early summer evening brushed through the curtains and onto my face. "You do not mind some fresh air while we pleasure each other, my darling?" 

"It feels nice, Alessandro," I muttered. "But you feel nicer. Come back to bed with me, mon amour (my love)." I smiled and reached for him. 

Papa took my hand and smiled back at me. "One moment and I promise you will be in my arms again." He rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand as he opened a bedside table drawer and began searching through it. He pulled out a small bottle of lube and tossed it onto the bed before climbing back in and settling down behind me. 

He immediately resumed kissing my neck and I tilted my head to give him better access. He sucked gently as his hands went to the waistband of my pants. "These need to come off, yes?" I nodded and lifted my hips to help him slide my pants off my legs. Once I kicked them to the floor, Papa removed his satin pajama bottoms and pulled me close. His warm body was firmly pressed against mine. It made my heart flutter in excitement when I felt his cock, hard on my lower back. "Tell me, mon amour (my love)," Papa whispered as he soothingly caressed my arm. "Do you have any experience in this type of pleasure?"

"No, Alessandro," I admitted quietly, glad that I was facing away from him. I didn't need him to know that I was blushing. "I've only been with women." 

"I will show you how enjoyable it is," Papa replied, smiling as he kissed my shoulder and began to roll his hips into my back. I whimpered quietly as his cock slid along my skin. 

Papa moved his hand from my side and brushed his fingers lightly over my ass cheeks. It tickled slightly and I instinctively pulled away, with a nervous giggle. "Ah you are ticklish, my darling," Papa laughed lightly as he gripped my hip, pulling me back. 

"Only slightly," I replied. "I am not used to being touched so lightly."

"But you did want me to make proper love to you, yes?" 

"Of course, Papa." 

"Then we do this slow." His hand was back on my ass. This time he took my right cheek and pressed his palm into it before giving it a squeeze and feeling it underneath his fingers. I moaned quietly as Papa kneaded my soft flesh. He kept moving his hips, gently grinding against me. His tip was leaking and his precum felt sticky on my back. 

I sighed, wrapping my hand around my cock and stroking myself lazily. Papa removed his hands from me to reach behind him. I heard the sound of him flicking open the bottle of lube and took in a deep breath as I felt a slight surge of anxiety. 

Suddenly I wasn't sure I actually wanted this. A had spent all these months thinking about him. I loved him and desired him more than anything. But was all of this real? Or was it just infatuation? There was no doubt that Papa was an extremely attractive man. Many in the clergy lusted after him and he had taken just as many of those members to bed. 

Still, I had to know. If we did this and I didn't want it to happen again at least I could look back at this moment and know that I tried. I made no movement as I felt Papa's slick fingers slide between my ass cheeks. 

I liked the feel of his fingers gently caressing my sensitive flesh. My nerve endings started to tingle and I couldn't help but moan. "Tu es beau (you are beautiful), Andrea. I love the sounds you make for me," Papa whispered, pressing tender kisses to my neck. "Relax for me, my darling. Take a deep breath." He pressed a single fingertip to my entrance. I sucked in the breath as I began to tremble. When I let it out, Papa pushed his finger into me slowly. It burned and I whimpered in discomfort. I wasn't sure I enjoyed it. 

I felt Papa reach around and gently squeeze the base of my cock with his other hand. He didn't stroke me, instead holding me there as he pushed deeper. "It's okay, my love. Stay relaxed and the discomfort will soon be replaced with pleasure." 

I bit my lip and nodded. He soon added a second finger and it was more uncomfortable than the first. Tears clouded my vision as I tried not to cry. When my trembling became uncontrollable, Papa began to stroke me. The burning discomfort waned slightly and I was able to give in to my growing arousal. I sighed as a pleasant heat spread through my body, washing over me as it moved outward from between my legs. My hips pushed into Papa's hand as he rubbed his thumb in circles around the head of my cock. 

"I think that you are ready for me, mon amour (my love)," Papa whispered. 

"Okay, Papa," I replied, taking a breath. I still had my anxiety over whether or not this was truly what I wanted but my desire to know was stronger. 

It didn't happen as I had dreamed it. Everything should have been perfect. To anyone who may have been watching us, it would have been perfect. Two men who had just confessed their love for one another, laying in bed and making love to each other. The warm summer breeze caressing their bodies, just as soft and tender as their touches. 

Outside, the world looked to be at peace. The clear night sky bright with stars, the trees and the grass a perfect shade of green. The lake in the distance, calm and serene. I was not at peace. 

It should have been everything that I wanted, that I dreamed of having. It was him. My Papa. My Alessandro. He was making love to me, gentle and sweet. Yet here I lay, my mind silently begging me to stop him. I knew that this was both the beginning and an end to something that I would never forget or forgive myself for. 

I wept quietly when we had finished and Papa pulled me into his arms and kissed my tears away. I didn't move nor speak, just staying there in his embrace.

"You are not happy, Andrea," Papa whispered. I shrugged, unable to answer him. "Was that not what you wanted?" He seemed confused.

"I wanted it," I answered. "It just wasn't what I expected." I wanted to continue, tell him how much I wished we could continue this relationship. But I knew it would never last. Papa's father had been pushing him to find a wife, he would need an heir. I would not be allowed to continue my relationship with him. 

Papa didn't reply he just pulled me close and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "You can go to sleep if you want," he said after a few moments. 

I nodded but it was a long while before my dreams finally claimed me. 

~*~

For the next few weeks, we only spoke to each other as colleagues. We would exchange pleasantries upon seeing each other in the hallways or at meetings or rituals. But neither of us spoke of the night we spent together whispering words of endearment and making love. 

Papa began to date a lovely and beautiful sister of sin that his father had set him up with a few days after we had been together. I tried not to become jealous, but every time I seen her touch him or heard him call her 'darling', a part of me envied them, for I longed to be her and wished for him to whisper those words to me one more time. 

The sun had just begun to set, bathing the gardens in bright hues of red, orange and pink. I walked along the pathway, going nowhere in particular. 

Soon the sky turned a dark blue and the stars came out. I stopped and sat down on a bench. "Out for an evening stroll?" I looked up at the sound of his voice. That velvety smooth tone that could instantly make me weak in the knees. I saw a hint of amusement in his eyes. The eyes that had me feeling like I was drowning in them. I didn't want to look away. I never wanted to again. But I had no choice.

"Yes. And you as well?" I dropped my gaze. 

"I am." He was smiling at me as he moved to sit down beside me. A few moments passed as we sat listening to the sounds of the crickets. "You know I don't regret what happened between us."

"I don't either," I whispered. 

Papa gave me a thoughtful smile. "I often wonder why you didn't come back. I thought I had hurt you too much." 

I shrugged. "You need a wife, not a husband."

Papa turned to me. "I need the one I fell in love with many months ago, who professed his love for me in my bed while I made love to him for the first time. I don't want a wife. I do not want to settle and I do not wish to lose you." Tears ran down my face as he took my head into his hands. "Tu es le soleil de ma vie, Andrea." 

I smiled through my sobs. "I love you, Alessandro. Tu es le soleil de ma vie," I whispered back as Papa kissed me passionately.


End file.
